Ken’s 3 Quick Tips: To Manage Conflict Within Your Team

When it comes to conflict, the ability to successfully manage conflict within your team is a leadership skill based on effective communication. Managers should understand that a leader’s ability to communicate effectively is the first key to success and is worthy of every leader’s attention, time, and investment in honing this skill.

At some point during every coaching engagement I have with a client, they would like to talk through a conversation they need to have. They have likely labeled this conversation as difficult, contentious or conflicting.

It is the most frequent item of note on their pre-session worksheet when asked if there is anything they’re putting off or avoiding. Their response frequently describes conflict with another or between other team members that they would like to resolve.

As we unpack the situation, identify the ideal outcome, and devise an action plan, we can strip away inflated feelings to establish what frequently produces a resolution.

Conflict management styles and conflict management strategies all center around learning and growing, communication, keeping the issue at hand and taking long-term steps to resolve the conflict.

Effective management will not create the absence of conflict forever. We are human, after all. But it will go a long way towards positive conflict resolution skills and creating open communication within your team. The core steps to successfully managing conflict are:

Manage Conflict Tip #1: Reframe how you label the situation.

Managing Conflict Tip #1: Reframe how you label the situation.

The most significant way we impede conflict resolution is to label them with emotional language fraught with consequences. Instead, let’s call them what they are: effective communication through regular conversations.

Early in my leadership career, a senior mentor offered a piece of sage advice as I took on a team: keep talking to your people like you always have, and don’t fall into the trap that because you’re a leader, you cannot continue that habit.

“Keep talking to your people like you always have, and don’t fall into the trap that because you’re a leader, you cannot continue that habit.”

“Talk to your people” is my refrain when guiding leaders. If you want to know something from them, just ask. And keep telling yourself that “people are doing all the right things for all the right reasons, so I will ask some questions.”

Positive intent will keep you from making assumptions, such as talking to people is a “conflict” or assigning nefarious motives to their actions/words.

Tip #2: It’s about the conversation, not the solution.

Tip #2: It’s about the conversation, not the solution.

Now that you’re approaching your team member with positive intent and feeling confident in your ability to talk with them, here’s your next tip.

If you rightly like to begin with the end in mind, the “how” is not the endgame. Instead, a two-way conversation based on clarity, conciseness, and caring will yield the “what” to address any issue.

As a leader, we must trap ourselves in the micromanagement of demanding people resolve problems in one particular fashion (the “how”). Instead, create a natural back-and-forth using active listening to engage effectively.

Granted, a high degree of Emotional Intelligence is advantageous when having conversations that feel natural without needing to psyche yourself up in any appreciable way. However, if you are working toward improving your conflict management with emotional intelligence, the next session will be a helpful framework to approach any conversation.

Tip #3: Think process, not the destination.

Tip #3: Think process, not the destination.

The goal of leadership is not to impart your opinion to another or extract your agreement.

It is to hear, adjust, decide, and commit to an action plan. You can apply the four F’s to managing conflict, as you would to your other leadership principles.

Focus

Instead of avoiding conflict, give the person you’re speaking with your undivided attention. Focus on the message they’re sending without being distracted by external alerts or interruptions. Further, focusing on them reduces the likelihood of thinking about what you will say next or overthinking their word choices.

Be Flexible

This is a conversation, not a contract negotiation. Understand who you are communicating with and flex to their preferred style. You will resolve conflict quicker by remaining flexible.

Follow Through

Follow through with the commitments you’ve made. Role modeling this behavior will distinguish you as a leader and give you a reputation for reliability. 

Follow Up

Follow up after the conversation to see if they’ve reconsidered any aspects of your agreements or if they have any insights they’d like to share. 

We established the six keys to building independent, accountable teams by reviewing past and current work with leaders to articulate the “verbs of leadership.”

Those actions separate success from struggle, focus from distraction, and activities that resulted in impact.

We affirm that they: Communicate, Delegate, Motivate, Recruit, Collaborate, and Develop.

Whether working with individual leaders or the leadership team, our efforts rightly center and radiate from these principles.

Let’s meet if you’ve wondered how working with an executive coach and business strategist can elevate your leadership to catalyze a new era of business success. Ready to kick tires and dive in, then schedule a no-strings, free Breakthrough Strategy Session.

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